I’ll be honest. I didn’t jump into Dry July for deep spiritual awakening or even to save money. My work colleague bullied me into it.
I did want a reset though. My mental health had been pretty shit and after years of casual drinking—Friday beers, midweek wine, celebratory G&Ts and/or bubbles, bloody Mary’s when you’re hung-over—it was time to hit pause.
What I didn’t expect, though, was how quickly I noticed changes in one very specific part of my life: sex.
Now, I’m a man in my mid-forties. Libido isn’t what it was at 25, and that’s normal. But what surprised me was how much better everything got without alcohol in the mix.
The Myth: Booze Makes Sex Better
In this article:
We’re sold this idea that alcohol loosens us up, makes us more confident, more daring. And to a degree, sure, it can feel that way. Some first dates would have been pretty cold without a bit of Dutch Courage! But “feeling” aroused isn’t the same as being aroused. There’s a growing body of research that shows alcohol—especially more than a drink or two—can actually blunt our sexual response.
I looked into it to see if it was just me. It isn’t. For women, studies show high alcohol consumption increases the risk of sexual dysfunction by 74%, including difficulty reaching orgasm, reduced arousal, and even pain during sex.
And for men like me? Research consistently shows that the more we drink, the harder it is—or rather isn’t. Alcohol dampens arousal, reduces the intensity of orgasm, and prolongs time to ejaculation. I’d experienced this myself but chalked it up to stress, age, or just a bad night. Turns out, that nightly glass (or three) of shiraz might have been the real culprit.
The Biology of the Bedroom
It turns out that physiologically, alcohol is a real downer! It’s a central nervous system depressant. That means it slows things down—everything. It messes with your testosterone (bad news for men), and with vaginal blood flow and lubrication (bad news for women). Basically, it tells your brain and body: “Sex? Meh. Maybe later.” And this often results in Netflix rather than Clit-flicks.
Even when it feels like you’re in the mood, your body may not cooperate. Studies confirm that while subjective arousal might rise with moderate drinking, actual genital response drops—a kind of disconnect between mind and body. AKA Whisky-dick.
What I’ve Noticed During Dry July
Two weeks into Dry July, I’ve noticed:
- Every morning is Morning Glory like I’m 20 again.
- I have way more energy. I can go for round two!
- My orgasms are more intense, longer-lasting, and—I swear—feel more “full-body.”
- My confidence has gone up, not down. I feel clearer, more connected, and more present.
My partner noticed too. Our connection in bed has felt more authentic, less performative. It’s not about a quick orgasm; it’s about being there in the moment, fully.
Will I Stay Dry Forever?
Probably not. I love a glass of red with dinner. But I’m definitely rethinking how—and when—I drink. If booze regularly gets in the way of something as fundamental and beautiful as pleasure, maybe it’s time we all reevaluate what it’s really adding to our lives.
So, here’s to Dry July. Not just for my liver and wallet—but for my relationship.
