By now you’ve probably heard everyone talking about cock rings. Stay harder for longer lasting sex is usually the cry. But do you need one, how do you even wear one, and how do you pick out the best cock ring for you anyway? And how big does it need to be? Well, hello. I’m Matt and as a writer of erotic fiction, I’ve done a lot of research. Including into the best cock rings out there.
Watch: How to use a cock ring with Nadia Bokody
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Why men use cock rings
In this article:
The best cock ring is one that helps you enjoy sex more – whatever that means to you. For some men with erectile disfunction, or ED, this can mean using a penis pump and cock ring combo to get hard and stay hard, but sometimes, it’s more about the A word. And by that I mean Anxiety.
Read more: How to use a penis pump.
Performance anxiety
Most sexually active men have been there. You’re with a really attractive person. You’re raring to go. In fact, you’ve been going for a while and then something feels off. Am I going soft? you ask yourself mentally. And that’s it. The thoughts pour in. What if they think I don’t like them? What does it mean about me if I can’t get it up for them? Does this make me less of a man?
For the last question, the answer is no it doesn’t. And if you need help unpacking that bit of toxic masculinity please see your therapist. But it’s undeniable that being anxious about staying hard can get in the way of you staying hard. In a perfect world this is something you can and should have a conversation with your partner about. But if this isn’t a long term relationship, or if you just want to keep going while you’re both hot for it, a simple cock ring can mean that you don’t have to worry about this at all and just enjoy the sex.
Very sensitive balls
When men and penis owners get close to ejaculation, their testicles draw closer to the body. We’re still working out why, but if you have really sensitive balls you may find this puts you off. Maybe it hurts when your balls slap against your partner. Or maybe it’s just the change in sensation. In this case, you can use a simple silicone or stretchy TPE cock ring around your balls to stop them pulling up too far, and enjoy your orgasm without the extra discomfort. It’s also more convenient than having your partner wrap their thumb and forefinger around your sack when you’re trying to come. Although that can be fun too…
It’s all about the vibe
Some men say the best cock ring is one that vibrates. And the nice thing is those vibrations can be for you, your partner, or both of you. Vibrating cock rings – sometimes called couples rings – add an extra level of stimulation to sex. They can turn your penis into a vibrator, provide your partner with clitoral stimulation to help her reach orgasm, or offer extra perineal stimulation so he enjoys bottoming for you even more. But more on that later.
For the bling, baby!
Sometimes, a ring is there for decoration. Maybe you like the way it looks, or the extra weight as it tugs on your genitals. Decorative rings are more often found in the leather, kink, and nudist communities, and a lot of metal rings fall into this category, although anything that looks nice can be worn in this fashion. Decorative rings are meant to be worn for longer though, so different rules apply to getting the best cock ring size.
Choosing the best cock ring
Selecting a cock ring starts with thinking about why you want it, whether you’ve used cock rings before, and who you’re planning on using it with.
The best cock ring for beginners
If you’ve never used them before, want something to keep your balls in check or just want something to deal with performance anxiety, the best cock ring for you is probably a simple stretchy one. And I’d suggest getting one of the many sets of 3 like Doc Johnson’s Optimale 3 piece set, or the Calexotics Silicone Support Set.
The stretchy ring makes it easy to get on – and more importantly off – and they’re not too pricey, so you can try them, and work out which size is too tight and which is just right. Everyone is different, so finding the right one for you is important.
If you’re experimenting solo want something extra stretchy, go for something made from rubber, TPE or TPR like this Black Rubber set from Calexotics. Rubber is a porous material, so you do have to be careful when using it during sex, so if you really like the soft, jelly feel construction, just make sure you’re cleaning your toys with an anti-bacterial toy cleaner before and after use.
The best cock ring for men with sensitive balls
While many cock rings can be worn just around the shaft of the penis, a lot of men find wearing a cock ring around their shaft and balls adds to the feeling of security. It also spreads out the stimulation from a vibrating ring closer to the perineum – that’s how you stimulate your prostate externally. Some rings even include a separate ball strap or a perineal massager. Or even a full-on internal prostate massager.
If your balls are sensitive to the point that your lover pulling them into their mouth is too much, or if the biggest 50mm stretchy cock silicone ring feels too small to go over your shaft and balls then you need an adjustable cock ring. These range in style from lasso style options to vibrating rings with adjustable size sliders or quick release systems.
The best cock ring for men wanting perineal stimulation
A little known aspect of vibrating cock rings is that many men can use the elongated, leaf shaped models like the Jimmy Jane Tarvos for perineal stimulation. To do that slip the ring over your shaft and testicles with the curved, vibrating end pointing backwards towards your taint. Then turn it on and enjoy the gentle prostate stimulation as you play!
The Svakom Benedict however, is designed for prostate stimulation, and worth a try if that’s something you love. There’s also the SwingO if you’re looking for a non-vibrating option.
The best cock ring for couples
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Honestly this comes down to what you enjoy. Pick the ring that gets you going, and fits your vibe – and whether or not you want one with a remote or app control. Fundamentally, the idea of a vibrating couples ring is that it gives the penetrative partner extra pleasure.
For opposite sex couples
The Wild Secrets Thrill is an ideal starting point, but for those looking for truly powerful vibes, we recommend checking out the Lelo Tor. Both of these cock rings slip neatly over the penis and provide vibrating stimulation directly to the clitoris, offering a smooth, pleasurable surface to grind down upon.
For same sex couples
The best cock rings for gay and bi men are the pointier rings. So something like the above mentioned Tarvos. The key is that they’re best worn in the opposite direction to straight couples. So instead of the pointed tip facing backwards towards the wearer’s belly button as in the video above, the tip should point towards the end of the wearer’s penis. During missionary position anal sex, this places the vibrating tip in a position where it’ll press down against the bottom’s perineum for more intense pleasure.
Just remember to use plenty of water-based lube on the vibrating section of the toy. Your partner will thank you for it.
The best cock ring picks for accessorising
If you’re heading to a party where some extra cock bling isn’t going to raise eyebrows there’s a couple of extra considerations to think about – firstly you want a looser fit so you can wear it for longer without causing damage to yourself. In this case you really want rings that’ll fit you and stay in place while you’re soft.
Something like the Colt 5 Snap Cock Strap is a great choice for a kink party, or if you’re absolutely certain you can get in and out of them easily enough, get the Calexotics 3 Piece Silver Ring set.
How to put on a cock ring
As mentioned in the educational video at the top of the article, the easiest way to wear a ring is slip it over your shaft. And you remove it the same way. But what about the other way?
If you’re struggling to get a cock ring over your shaft and balls, you aren’t alone. If you’re wondering how you get anything through that tiny hole, there’s a few simple ways to approach the puzzle.
Start when you’re soft
Even the best cock ring in the world is going to be a challenge if you’re already hard. So start when you’re soft. For stretchy cock rings, you can slip your penis in first and stretch the ring wide with both hands before carefully pushing each testicle through with your fingers. If you have sensitive balls or the ring isn’t that stretchy, you’ll have to go the other way.
Go in balls first
For this approach, hold the ring beneath your testicles and gently tug your scrotum through the ring. Just be careful of your nails here. I had one memorable scratch trying to do this at a nudist camp while hooking up with a very nice man and accidentally breaking the skin. There was blood everywhere. Once your scrotum are through you may find you have to push your testicles down from hiding inside your body the way they do when you’re cold. Just take your time and be gentle with yourself. Nothing kills the mood faster than straining a testicle.
Finally slip your penis through the ring. If there’s not enough space, you can gently push your soft penis shaft inside your body, slip your foreskin or the skin of your shaft inside the ring and then pop your shaft back out and through. In my experience this works a treat, but you may struggle if you don’t have foreskin. If that’s too difficult, try an adjustable option, or go for a wider ring.
Reversing the process
A tight ring can start feeling painful after a while – especially if you’re sensitive once you’ve climaxed. And if you put the ring on when you were soft, you may find it difficult to remove when you’re hard – especially because it’s probably keeping you hard and making it difficult to remove easily.
If you’re struggling, the key things here are not to panic. Clean your genitals and your hands with a dry towel, or even soap and water, and then dry off if you need to. That will make it easier to grip the stretchy ring with your fingers and pull it away from your body for long enough to slip one testicle out. Then the other. At that point you should be able to slip your penis out too.
You can also slip your penis or testicles inside your body and pop them out outside of the ring if you really need to, but that’s not a motion that comes naturally to most people.
Put a ring on it!
And that’s it, while you can and should measure your girth with a soft measuring tape, I figure you’re old enough to work that one out – and even if a toy company tells you how big their rings are, the stretchiness of the material is always an unknown. So try a thinner ring first, see what works, and level up from there. It takes longer, but you only have one penis unless you’re genetically lucky, so it’s worth taking time to treat it right.
Your sex life will thank you. If sex lives could talk.
