Were you the kid who’d eaten every chocolate out of the advent calendar by the 5th of December? Be honest.
Same. Zero self-control. Still none, frankly.
So an advent calendar with 24 boxes of sex toys, kink accessories and games inside? I’d love to tell you I’ve been patiently waiting, but I haven’t. Still no restraint as an adult, plus, it’s research right?
I’m going to be frank with you, I’m a sex coach. I talk about pleasure for a living. And I still think there’s something bloody brilliant about a box that hands you one small, new thing a day that ever-so-subtly says “Go on. Try this.” Rather than awkwardly standing in a sex toy store quietly wondering what on earth a triple cock ring set is for and too afraid to ask.
Read more: Getting started with sex toys for couples by Kate Manning.
What’s in the advent calendar box? (Spoilers, obviously)
In this article:
If you want every box to be a surprise, skip this bit.
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But if, of course, you’re like me, and surprises are nice in theory but impulsively you just want to know, then let’s get into it. Shall we?
Inside the most festive, shiny and colourful box Wild Secrets has ever launched (and it is FUN, in the most joyous way possible), there are 24 pieces:
- 11 sex toys. For vulvas, for penises, for both of you at once. A limited edition wand. A heated rabbit ( yes you read that right). An angled G-spot vibrator. A vibrating couples ring (not a triple set, promise). A textured stroker. A glitter vibrator (because why shouldn’t your toys sparkle?) Plus a couple of beginner anal options: a gold butt plug with a faux gem on the end (bedazzled, darling) and jelly anal beads.
- 5 pieces of light bondage. Pink fuzzy handcuffs. Soft rope. A light paddle. Adjustable nipple clamps with a pearl chain. And a lace blindfold you can mostly see through. Which, honestly? We love. It’s like looking at your neighbour through the blinds. And no I’ve never done that.
- 2 games. A Desires card deck and a 12-sided sex position die.
- 6 accessories. A pink candle, faux rose petals, a lavender bath bomb, glitter nipple pasties and a satin storage bag. LUSH!
Everything’s body-safe, most of it’s splashproof and USB rechargeable, and once it’s all open it packs back into the gold-accented box. Very chic. Very “nothing to see here” when the in-laws arrive for Christmas lunch and you’ve got it peeking out from under the bed.
“But I’m a beginner…”
Good. This is for you.
Most of us were taught that sex is something that we do. Same order. Same position. Same finish line (usually him coming). Nobody told us pleasure was something we explore, play with, get curious about, and be a bit rubbish at to begin with.
So we don’t try anything new. We stick to the same old routine. And then wonder why it all feels a bit… bland.
Read more: Spice up your sex life with these 5 bedroom game changers by Amy Edith.
This box quietly shakes up the rigidity. A blindfold you can still see through – hot! Cuffs that are fluffy – fun! A die that picks the position – why not?!
So many people want to try new things, but what I hear so often is, “But I don’t know what to try or where to start, I’m such a beginner.” Which is why I love something like an Advent Calendar. It takes the decision fatigue out of it and opens your mind to things you may not have thought to try.
One a day, or all at once?
Look, you do what you like, I’m usually all or nothing, but if you want my opinion (and I’m assuming you do), then try one a day. Or collect a few items for one session to try.
Anticipation is foreplay and we LOVE a build up. Opening a box at breakfast and knowing there’s a paddle waiting for you later that night? Time on the drive home from work thinking of all the ways that you could use it? HOT. That’s the build up I’m talking about.
Also, you don’t HAVE to use it that day. Some days you’ll open a bath bomb and you’ll use it that night. And some days you’ll open something that needs more time to plan for or mentally prepare like your butt toys. Do it your way.
Before you start opening boxes
A few non-negotiables. Humour me.
- Water-based lube. That’s the one to use with these toys. And more is more. Always. And remember, spit is not lube.
- Charge everything first. Most toys are USB rechargeable, and a couple need batteries (1 x AA and 2 x AAA, not included). There is nothing (NOTHING) less sexy than a vibrator dying mid-play.
- Go slow with the anal toys. Plenty of lube, start small, stop if anything hurts. Your butt is not in a rush. Neither are you.
- Pick a stop word (or safe word) for the kink pieces. Something like “red”. Say it and everything stops. No questions. Knowing you can stop is exactly what makes it feel safe enough to play.
- Say the words. “Want to try this tonight, or save it?” “Slower.” “More of that.” “Can we pause for a sec?” Every one of those is a full sentence. Communication is the foundation of great sex, and it’s a hill I will happily die on.
- Open the Desires deck early. Find out what your partner’s curious about before day 17. It takes the guesswork out of it.
Is it a good gift?
Please. The Wild Secrets Advent Calendar is a luxurious gift!
Buy it for yourself. You deserve a bundle of pleasure toys. Buy it for your partner. Yes, spice things up. Sometimes we need a big beautiful festive box on the bed to give us an excuse to shut the door and have some fun.
Flying solo this December? Wand, rabbit, bath bomb, candle. All in the box. You’re welcome.
The bottom line
Pleasure doesn’t have to be one big toy or one big thing you do. It can literally be 24 tiny steps back to yourself, or back to your partner.
Open the box. Get curious. Laugh when the die lands on something completely ridiculous. Notice what makes your body go “ooh, YES” and what’s more of a “hmm… maybe not.”
They’re all great conversation starters for learning more about yourself, and your lover.
Happy unboxing, pun intended.
