Hot tips for a spicier sex life
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Have you ever watched a hot sex scene in a movie and felt your heart skip a beat?
Have you ever watched something like that and had the thought, ‘if only sex was that great in real life?’
Well, I’m here to share with you that you can have real-life sex, better than any movie and all it takes is some simple know-how and maybe a slight shift in perspective!
I’ll offer some hot tips and easy ways to bring the spice into your bedroom, up the passion and get your heart skipping a beat.
Okay, so the truth is, unlike the movies, we live busy lives. Always on the go, we sometimes find it hard to switch off, which can have a huge impact on the difference between having ordinary sex and extraordinary sex.
I definitely know which I would prefer to be having!
You can have real-life sex, better than any movie and all it takes is some simple know-how
This actually reminds me of a movie – When Harry Met Sally. Do you remember the table scene at the restaurant?
Sally is remarking to Harry that she has faked her orgasms and he never knew. He doesn’t believe her, so she proceeds to demonstrate live!
“Yes, yes, yesss,” Sally moans loudly. holding both sides of the table.
The lady sitting across from her is watching with amazement, then looks at the waitress and exclaims, “I’ll have what she’s having!”
It’s interesting, as in that film Sally is actually the epitome of the busy woman. Stuck in her head and in her own way – micromanaging her life. Not very in flow and able to surrender into her orgasmic pleasure and bliss. It’s not that hard then to see why she might have to fake her orgasms. She couldn’t switch off her busy mind and get into her body.
Why is not being able to switch off a problem you may ask?
When we are stuck in our mind, we are disconnected from our body and our sensory experience. We are also disconnected from each other.
When we are stuck in our mind, we are disconnected from our body and our sensory experience. We are also disconnected from each other
So attempting to have sex like this could mean that she really isn’t engaged and he might not even notice that she’s just not that into it or maybe not even enjoying it.
For her, this can lead to all kinds of issues such as feeling emotionally or physically shut down, and creating a lack of trust, a disconnection from her body and her pleasure. She might have to ‘fake it’.
And for him, even though he might still reach orgasm in that state, he’s actually cheating himself and missing out on a whole world of pleasure, connection, intimacy and the journey to reaching climax.
So, what’s the secret to having real-life hot sex? One word: foreplay!
Why foreplay matters
Foreplay is so important. To put it simply: it helps bring your mind and body together so that you are more open to sexual pleasure. It also opens you more to each other.
It’s like having an appetiser before the main meal. It tantalises the taste buds and gets those juices flowing ready for the main course, which will give you the most satisfaction.
Tantric ground rules for foreplay
- Set the mood – Yes, its’ not rocket science. Taking that little extra time here to set up before an erotic experience, even with yourself, really helps. Think soft lighting, candles, sweet aromas and playing some music that turns you on.
Anything that can enhance an erotic space for love and change the ordinary everyday into a more extraordinary world will definitely help the mind and body to relax, getting both you and your lover in the mood a lot faster. - Communication is key – Explore your desires and share what you would like to experience. Communicate to each other throughout the experience to ensure you are both on the same page and pleasure journey. If you love something, let your partner know.
Also, if you’re not really loving something give them that feedback beautifully and then redirect them to what you do. For example: “Oh baby, that actually hurts a little when you touch me that hard, but I love it when you use your fingers gently and touch me like this.” Demonstrate what you love so they know. - Boundaries – Be clear with what you’re okay to experience and what is not okay. Have a safe word (this could be a colour word) to say if exploring toys and props for the first time.
- Trust – Listen to your partner and always respect their boundaries.
- Permission – Have fun, be silly, allow yourself to let go and allow pleasure in.
Tantric foreplay tips for sizzle and spice
Hot tip 1: Sensation play
A light flogger or tickler would have to be one of my favourite foreplay props. You can experience various levels of sensational play, from soft and sensual to more commanding depending on your own flavour. It’s great at helping to bring more blood flow and circulation into the body. You can use it like a feather or, for the more adventurous, add a little flog for that extra loving like a ‘bee sting’.
You can find more floggers and a whole world of different sensations to explore in the Wild Secrets bondage collection.
Always remember that it’s really important in any form of foreplay for you and your partner to communicate throughout to ensure you are both experiencing pleasure at all times.
Hot tip 2: Seduction
Personally, I am visual and I love to seduce my partner by dressing up – so he can dress me down!
I totally recommend both for her and him, having a special wardrobe compartment that is your sexy wear. I enjoy playing with it depending on what mood I’m in on the day. Wild Secrets costumes have something for everyone and every occasion!
Exploring a multitude of different ways to seduce one another and activating arousal can be super exciting and a way to keep it fresh in the bedroom.
Another great tool is the Sex and Mischief Beginners Bondage Kit. It has everything you need to explore and seduce.
Wearing the eye mask can be highly arousing as you are unable to see where or how you will be touched. Being teased with the mask on activates the body’s need to rely on other senses to anticipant the next touch. I like to use the flogger as a light tickler to arouse more sensuality whilst the handcuffs can add a kinky touch by adding a slight restriction.
Hot tip 3: Sensuality
When we explore our sensuality it can be very pleasing to the senses, especially our erogenous zones. The most common erogenous zones are the genitals, lips, buttocks, back of the neck, and nipples.
What I love most about exploring foreplay with the Mistress by Isabella Sinclair Wartenburg Wheel is that it will certainly awaken each of your erogenous zones. Playing with different levels of pressure over the body using this spiky stainless-steel toy, you will stimulate erotic shivers, bringing you waves of sensual delight.
Add the Pipedream satin blindfold to boost arousal with the teasing and anticipation of each roll of the wheel.
Hot tip 4: Massage
Massage is one of the most common and easy ways to begin foreplay. It can help relax the mind-body connection and of course, the entire body. Play with different kinds of pressure and stokes and explore what feels good and what evokes the most pleasure.
If you’re a real adventurer, the Master Series Pleasure Poker Textured Glove will add that bonus touch, with each finger offering a different texture that you can explore using a range of strokes over the body. It’s safe for use internally too. So, for that extra climax add a little internal play.
Why not add some slip-and-slide fun to your massage with JO Nuru Massage Gel. This gel is ideal for a seductive body slide! Safe for use with toys as it’s water-based (always recommended), the gel offers a smooth consistency, meaning you can glide all over each other other’s body with no tackiness or sticking.
Remember, when it comes to foreplay the sky’s the limit. The most important thing is to play smart, play safe and have delicious fun. Enjoy the practice!
