Forget what you learnt about sex at school!
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As adults, we sometimes have a flashback to our high school days. There are a lot of things we learned that don’t quite translate to our everyday lives now, and we’re not just talking about algebra.
You might’ve been taught safe sex in your health class in high school with scare tactics and telling you to abstain from sex or use protection, usually only highlighting unexpected pregnancies and graphic images of sexually transmitted infections or diseases (STIs and STDs).
What the sex education system sometimes fails to do with teenagers is teach them about how pleasurable safe sex can be! While understandably they may think that telling teenagers sex is enjoyable will make them want to do it more, the fact is they will do it regardless. So, they may as well teach teens that safe sex is fun and smart at the same time, before they are set in their ways as adults.
Safe sex is fun and smart at the same time
Teens who learned about safe sex and pleasurable sex as two separate entities can grow into adults who don’t enjoy practicing safe sex, such as by using condoms, because of the connotation that it won’t feel as good. Unfortunately, unprotected sex can cause more headaches than orgasms. It’s important to understand you can have a wild night in the bedroom with protection and peace of mind.
If you want to practice safe sex and get pleasure out of being smart with your and your partner’s sexual health, here are six steps to keep your love life spicy and safe, while avoiding those awkward conversations down the track!
6 steps to enjoying safe sex
1. Educating yourself on sexual health
Knowledge is power! Before you even get between the sheets with your partner, you should do some brushing up on your sexual education, especially when it comes to various contraceptive methods.
There are plenty of ways to enjoy safe sex, and while condoms are the most effective in preventing transmissions of STIs and pregnancy, the female or internal condom is also a good option if you prefer.
Before you even get between the sheets with your partner, you should do some brushing up on your sexual education
Using multiple contraceptive methods will also help give you the upper hand, so using a combination of methods like combining, condoms with an intrauterine devices (IUD), can help fight for your sexual health.
Your chances of contracting an infection are higher when you don’t wear protection, and while you might think it’s the best sex of your life without one, you’re in for quite a headache — plus you won’t be able to be fully in the moment. The little voice in the back of your mind is giving you a warning; rather than being distracted by what-if’s, you can focus on having a good time and go your hardest!
2. Respect is sexy
It’s important to know that your sexual health isn’t just about steering clear of infections or unplanned pregnancies, it’s also about respecting your partner’s wishes and acknowledging their health too. If you or someone you’ve recently encountered sexually had an STI or may have one, the right thing to do is to not get sexually involved with another partner until you’re in the clear.
This way when you do get intimate with someone, you won’t need to worry about passing on anything and they’ll have peace of mind knowing you’re healthy too. Think about it this way, you’d want to know if your next sexual partner is possibly carrying an infection or disease they could pass on to you, so why would you leave them in the dark? Respect your partner’s health and we know they will make it worth the wait!
3. Try before you dive
When it comes to condoms, one size definitely does not fit all! Just like the uniqueness of a penis, the condoms you use should properly fit and flatter so when things start to get heated, you aren’t struggling to get protection on. There’s nothing that kills the mood more than when a condom is too big or too small, meaning you won’t be able to have a good and safe experience.
Always keep your favourite condoms in easy reach during couple’s time.Before you get ready for your next bedroom session, grab one of those sachets and try it on for size. There are so many condoms out there for every size penis, and they come in different colours, flavours, and textures too – some even glow in the dark!
Giving your partner a few options to choose from never hurts either – you might be surprised at their liking of ribbed condoms or a flavoured one to perform safe oral. Having accessible condoms means you’ll provide an easy transition for when you’re ready to get tangled up in the sheets.
4. Expect the unexpected
Keeping your condoms in a safe, accessible place is a great key in assisting you on a night of passion – once you’re with your partner and you start kissing, touching and getting down to foreplay, you can easily get caught up in the mood and forget to protect.
Of course, you don’t want to spoil the mood by getting off the bed and searching high and low for your condoms, scratching your head wondering where they are, when you could be wrapping one on already and getting intimate. Have your condoms in a safe space, preferably in a bedside table or somewhere within reach, and make sure you always have enough for round two, or three!
5. Foreplay is a powerful tool
Getting intimate with a partner isn’t just about having sex, it’s about being able to connect with that person on a deeper level and giving yourselves time to enjoy all the aspects of sex.
From start to finish, sex is one of the most enjoyable and beneficial things we can perform as humans. It helps relieve tension, lower blood pressure and heart attack risk, as well as reduce headaches and pains. It helps our immune system, and boosts our libido and brings us a whole lot of pleasure too. (1)
What some sexual partners skip is the foreplay, which gives us a physical and emotional connection to the other person, without penetration. Foreplay is such a powerful tool leading up to your sweat session because it tunes in your body and your mind, allowing the fullest potential of arousal and pleasure, making the end result that much more explosive.
Foreplay is such a powerful tool leading up to your sweat session because it tunes in your body and your mind
Women especially need to build up the tension in their bodies so acts of kissing, touching, hugging and licking can help the vagina become more naturally lubricated and ready for anything. Other ways to boost your foreplay routine is with interactive sex games that are designed to get you in the mood, or giving your partner the ultimate tease with a sensual massage that’ll get you both going.
While many people think putting on a condom isn’t sexy, there are ways to incorporate safe sex into your foreplay routine. By doing so, this will make your safe sex practices more approachable and enjoyable.
Next time you are ready to go, why not put the condom on your partner instead of them doing it? It will feel good for them when you take control. Plus, you could place it on and use your mouth to do the rest of the rolling – they’ll go crazy for it!
Better yet, grab some flavoured condoms and give them a session they won’t forget for a long, long time.
6. Everything’s better when it’s wetter
Never underestimate the power of a great water-based lubricant! You might be thinking that you don’t need lube because you or your partner gets quite wet, but did you know that when using a condom, the less wet the area is the more likely it is to break due to friction? Yikes. We don’t want any broken condom stories here!
By adding lube to your sexual repertoire, you’re protecting yourself and your partner while providing a more pleasurable experience – the wetter the better!
Never underestimate the power of a great water-based lubricant
If you want to spice things up even more, grabbing a flavoured lube to add to more areas of the body can help fire up your erogenous zones and create a more extreme, and delicious, orgasm. Lube isn’t just for vaginal sex either, it can help when you’re making moves on anal sex. While anal is a great way to not get pregnant, you still need to use protection to combat infections that can be transmitted.
Whether you want to try something new or find a lot of pleasure in anal sex, lubricating the condom helps protect it from breaking down or snapping completely, defeating its purpose in the first place. There are actually lubricants designed specifically for anal sex, so you’re in for a wild night of orgasms no matter what you’re into!
Safe sex all the way!
Practicing safe sex and having a pleasurable experience don’t need to be mutually exclusive.
Incorporating ways to bring your safe sex practices into your routine, while keeping it sensual and safe, will be the ultimate way to enjoy your sexual experiences. Not only is having a great time in the bedroom fantastic for your health and relationship, it also builds trust and respect between both partners.
By choosing to be safe and protecting yourself and your partner, you’re showing a good attitude toward sexual health and showing that you respect theirs too.
Being safe isn’t just about protecting yourself from infections, diseases and unplanned pregnancies, it’s about having a fun, enjoyable time without having to worry about anything except getting your partner off!
(1) Liu, H, Waite, L, Shen, S & Wand, D 2016, ‘Is Sex Good for Your Health? A National Study on Partnered Sexuality and Cardiovascular Risk Among Older Men and Women’, Journal of Health and Social Behaviour, vol. 57, no. 3, pp. 276-296, viewed 3 September 2020, DOI 10.1177/0022146516661597
