So what is pegging?
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You might have come across the term when talking sex confessions with your girlfriends, or indulging in a bit of Broad City on TV, but pegging is a new word in our sexual lexicon that is becoming increasingly popular, especially with the open-minded nature of millennials.
Our young generations are becoming more inclusive, evolving past sexual and gender norms; creating a world where it’s less about labels and more about personal connection.
With this, pegging has become something that heterosexual and homosexual couples engage in on a regular basis – but what exactly does it mean?
Well, pegging was originally coined to describe a cis gender woman using a dildo or strap on to penetrate a cis gender man, but it can also refer to when two women engage in this act (for two men, it’s just plain old sex)!
Does pegging feel good?
There can be a number of reasons people want to explore their sexual repertoire with pegging, mainly because they’ve heard it feels good physically and emotionally for both parties involved.
Basically, it flips the script on what we see as heteronormative and bringing a new, flipped perspective to how we have sex with a consensual partner.
It can also be quite thrilling for the receiver, as the anus has about as many nerve endings as the tip of the penis, plus your prostate can be known as the p-spot – so your cis gender male partner will feel a stronger climax while feeling powerful on the receiving end.
Pegging is also great to mix up your sex routine or add a bit of BDSM to the agenda, if bondage and blindfolds are your thing!
How to start the discussion
Okay, you can’t just go online and buy an awesome strap on and bring it into the bedroom without first discussing it with your sexual partner.
Whether you want to do the pegging or be the receiver, you need to talk about what it is and why you want to do it in a safe space – ideally in a non-threatening environment and with your clothes on.
You can casually bring it into conversation while you’re watching Netflix on the couch, perhaps saying you’ve read an article on Wild Secrets recently about pegging, or explaining that you enjoy butt play and want to explore it more either giving or receiving.
There’s absolutely no shame around wanting to explore this venture, just make sure your sexual partner is down for it and on the same vibe as you; you don’t want to get ready for pegging with whips and gags, and they’re in for a zen, gentle experience.
How to prepare for pegging and what you need
For pegging to be successful, you generally need a penetrative instrument, specifically a dildo, a strap on harness, and lots of specially formulated anal lubricant.
There are a few types of dildos you can choose from for your harness depending on what you and your partner are looking for and sexually in to; there’s beautifully pink smooth dildos that work well with a breathable harness, or textured thin dildos for a more authentic feel, a classic strap on, or the strapless silicone dildo that will give both the receiver and giver a good time face to face!
For a beginner, we recommend trying out the ultra soft strap on set that’ll help ease you both into it.
Some pegging precautions…
Pegging is fun for everyone, but doing butt stuff comes with a few misconceptions and concerns that people worry about. More specifically, people are less likely to try pegging because they are afraid of the receiver’s poop!
Well, we know everybody poops and it’s not ideal when you’re trying to get down to business and your partner feels uncomfortable because they pooped earlier or need to go.
What people might not understand is that our poop doesn’t actually sit in the anal canal, it sits tucked away in the colon until we forcefully push it out. There can be some residue left over while engaging in butt play, but mainly if your partner isn’t the best wiper – if you desperately need to have a working environment you know is clean, grab one of these easy to use ultra douche or clean stream enema bulb that’ll help clean up, up there, before you get started.
If you’ve been engaging with multiple sexual partners, it’s a good idea to grab a condom and put it on your dildo or strap on to reduce your risk of STI infection or spreading.
This actually works well for a lot of people as it’s less work during clean up and easier to get in as it’s already lubed up; you’ll need to wash your harness and dildo after each use!
Top pegging tips for beginners
Getting warmed up
It’s always a good idea to be sexually aroused and ready to go when you’re going to peg or be pegged, so start to engage in some foreplay with your partner that includes deep kissing, touching, licking and even dry humping.
When you’re both fully aroused, you can warm up the receiver’s end by putting some lube on your fingers and beginning to massage the prostate internally – remember to be gentle.
If it’s their very first time engaging in butt play, you should grab a butt plug training kit so they can relax into it.
Choosing your tools
So we’ve talked about the different tools (dildos) you can use for pegging, so make sure to discuss what the receiver wants before you go any further – they might be into a thinner, smoother experience or keen to have a thicker, textured dildo.
What’s really important is to use plenty of anal lube, more than you think you need! The anus doesn’t naturally produce lubricant like the vagina does, so you’ll need to top it up every so often if it starts to dry and create friction, which is what you want to avoid!
Something like a good water-based lube can be great for longevity, and you can use numbing lubricant if your partner is into it; though you need to be careful as this can numb too much and won’t send pain signals to the brain, which can possibly create micro-tears in the anus.
It’s all about positioning
If you’re starting out, doggy style is an easy first step into pegging; the giver is in control here and can put more or less in pretty quickly, though you can’t see the receiver’s face and take into account their facial expression or feelings if they aren’t being vocal about it.
What can work well is getting into a spooning position and pressing the tip of the dildo at the base of the anus, waiting for it to relax and open – after adding your lube of course – slowly enter small bits at a time. On the first go they might not be able to take a whole lot in, so listen to what they’re saying.
Patience is key
The receiver is the one in control, so as soon as something doesn’t feel good or has been taken too far, you need to listen and react to what they want.
It’s going to be a slow-going process and not a hard-humping-fest like you might have imagined; be gentle, slowly thrusting and keep the lines of communication open.
Exit point
Probably just as important as entering, exiting the receiver is a delicate dance – don’t just pull it out and hope for the best!
The anus has been slowly opened and the last thing you want to do to this delicate passage is to rip it to shreds; be patient while exiting and avoid micro-tears in the tissue.
Listen to your partners reactions and slowly exit; if they happen to experience any lumps, bumps, or bleeding a few days later, see a healthcare practitioner.
At the end of the day…
Pegging can be an exciting, liberating, sexually-charged experience but it’s always up to the receiver how far it will go.
So, whether it feels good one minute and not so good the next, the receiver has every right to want to stop the pegging and move onto something else, or nothing at all.
It’s a super sensitive area and not everyone is going to enjoy this kind of play, so if you’re super keen and they aren’t, don’t put pressure on your partner to do it – you wouldn’t want them to pressure you into something you’re not in to!
