Yes, you can absolutely have an anal orgasm. They feel different from a penile or vaginal orgasm, but they’re real. You might not have one every time you have anal sex, but if you want to increase your chances of having one – or give one to your partner – this is the article for you.
We are going to be focusing more on men and penis owners as anal orgasms are more a thing for them given they have a prostate. But we will have a section on anal orgasms for women and vulva owners. Yes ladies, it’s possible! So, scroll down for that.
But first…
What is an anal orgasm?
An anal orgasm is exactly what it sounds like – an orgasm achieved through stimulation of the anus. Or other parts of you through the anus. The anus is full of sensitive nerve endings, so touching, licking, and penetration can feel really, really, really good. And yes, even orgasmic.
Anal orgasms for men – meet the prostate
Sometimes called the p-spot or the male g-spot, the prostate is a small, walnut sized gland inside the male body. And it’s the reason anal sex feels so amazing for men and penis owners. It’s also the key to an anal orgasm.
The prostate is a small gland that helps you produce semen. It also feels really good when stimulated!
Externally, the prostate can be stimulated by rubbing the perineum – that’s the spot between the anus and balls. More colloquially you may have heard it referred to as the taint. As in ‘taint your balls or butthole. That’s ‘it ain’t’ if that wasn’t clear. The more direct – and more intense – way to stimulate the prostate is inside the anus. It’s typically a few inches past the second sphincter, towards the front of the body.
If you’re going in with fingers – and we recommend you do to start with – it’s about the size of a walnut and is a smooth, hard patch inside what’s otherwise very soft tissue. It’s usually convex, but some men have innies there too. It swells with arousal, so if you’re new to finding it, making sure you – or your partner – is really turned on first can help.
The most pleasurable prostate techniques
Using a ‘come hither’ motion towards the front of the body is a great way to apply direct pressure to the prostate and that’s achievable with fingers or certain prostate massagers. Some men also find a firm, unyielding toy like an anal safe glass or metal dildo great for prostate stimulation as the lack of give makes for intense pleasure. They also provide stimulation when clenched around, as well as when being manipulated by yourself or your partner.
What does an anal orgasm feel like for men?
Prostate orgasms feel like an overwhelming build up of sexual arousal and pleasure. It floods out from your core throughout your entire body and it feels like it can go on forever – or as long as your prostate is being stimulated. And sometimes it can. Anal orgasms for men don’t always coincide with a penile orgasm or ejaculation, so there’s not real set finish for them. Sometimes you get too sensitive and need to stop, other times your partner runs out of stamina. Sometimes you just pause and the waves of pleasure fade leaving you as weak kneed and spent as if you’d just come. Whatever happens to you, enjoy it, and accept that it’s not always going to be the same.
Of course, since you’re usually not ejaculating, you can get right back into it if you like – power bottoms certainly seem to enjoy it. You can also change your play to focus on achieving a penile orgasm after an anal one. And yes, because we know it’s out there in media, an anal orgasm can absolutely cause a hands-free penile orgasm. Just don’t expect one every time. Or put pressure on yourself to achieve it every time. In our experience it’s not normal, but if it’s your normal, that’s amazing and we’re very jealous!
Anal orgasms for women
The key to anal orgasms for vulva owners is typically the a-spot. Otherwise known in scientific circles as the anterior fornix erogenous zone, this is a super-sensitive spot located between the cervix and the bladder, just a few centimetres above the g-spot. Stimulating it can lead to orgasm, and while it’s easier to do so through vaginal penetration, anal penetration can provide indirect stimulation through the wall of your rectum.
The legs of the clitoris also extend into the rectal area, so anal penetration can also provide great clitoral stimulation. Some women have said they’re able to feel G-spot stimulation through anal play, but your mileage may vary.
Unfortunately, anal pleasure isn’t as simple for women as it is for men, but having a firm butt plug in during vaginal penetration can make everything more intense – and give you front and back stimulation at the same time. And whether you stop there, go all in an anal sex, or just enjoy the teasing of all those nerves around your anus, it’s all good. You never have to do more than you want.
What do anal orgasms feel like for women?
Anal orgasms for vulva owners will likely feel similar to vaginal orgasms. Like a vaginal orgasm, anal orgasms are described as a full-body experience that starts down low and radiates outward.
There are some key differences though. Both are felt deep within the body, but vaginal orgasms will cause your vaginal wall to pulse. During an anal orgasm, you’ll likely feel the contractions closer to your anal sphincter. You may also feel an intense need to pee as you get closer to climaxing.
Some may also find that anal orgasms can be more intense or last longer than other types of orgasms.
Tips for achieving an anal orgasm
A lot of the tips for achieving an anal orgasm are identical to our tips for anal sex, so there’s going to be some repetition here. We’re also going to assume you don’t have a lot of hands on experience so if these tips sound a bit beginner focused, that’s because they are.
Read more: 10 Things I Wish I Knew About Anal Sex by Matthew Lang.
Don’t rush
You know how we describe bad things as ‘butt clenching’? That’s right. The more anxious, worried, or tense you are, the harder it’s going to be to get any sort of penetration happening. And you need that penetration to reach the prostate, or the areas of the a-spot, G-spot and clitoris that can be stimulated though anal sex.
Take your time, especially when you’re starting out. Once you’re comfortable with anal play you’ll relax and open up much faster, but it’s okay if you take a number of sessions to get there.
Remember the journey should feel good
Sure you’re aiming at that anal orgasm, but everything about this experience should feel good. No, it shouldn’t hurt before you ‘relax’ and start enjoying yourself. Start small – one finger, or a small toy. And it’s good to tease the outside off your hole and enjoy those sensations before you start pushing in gently with just a little penetration. You don’t have to put it all in on the first go. Speaking of fingers, trim your nails (see below), and remember
Use lube
Unlike the vagina, the anus isn’t self-lubricating. And yes, if you’ve been a long-term BL or doujinshi fan, we’re sorry. They lied to you. What you will want to do is pick up a good lube, and use lots of it. You’re also going to want to put down a towel or two – or even a Splashblanket – given how much lube you’re going to be using. Essentially, you want lube so you can keep stimulating yourself, and you’re not going to get to an anal orgasm if every thrust of those fingers, that toy, or that penis hurts.
While any water-based lube will do, there are thicker lubes that work better for anal sex and provide more cushioning that anal sex beginners will definitely appreciate. Silicone lubes are thinner, but provide a longer lasting slick that your butt will appreciate. Hybrid lubes offer the best of both worlds, and while there are other options, we suggest going for an anal lube formulation to start with, and experiment with others as you gain experience, learn what you like, and have the budget to do so.
Read more: What’s the Best Lube for Anal Sex?
About condoms
If you’re going to have anal sex with a casual partner, you should be using condoms. And if you’re using anal toy that’s made of TPE, you may want to put a condom on that too. We’re not going to give you the safe sex lecture, but as a rule, if you’re using a condom, avoid oil-based lubes. Stick to water, silicone, or water/silicone hybrids.
Make a conscious decision about cleaning
Generally speaking there are 3 camps when it comes to being clean for anal sex. And by clean we mean avoiding poo.
- Spend 20+ mins cleaning with a douche before going there.
- Eating a high fibre diet and/or fibre supplements to keep yourself regular and taking a shower beforehand.
- Saying f*ck it, it’s a butt. Poop happens. Get over it.
Whatever camp you fall into – or think you fall into – make a conscious decision about it and just go with it. It’ll help with the whole relax thing we mentioned earlier.
Read more: How to Use an Anal Douche in 10 Easy Steps.
Trim your nails
You need to do this. Believe us when we say you will feel it when you scratch yourself down there. If you’re good at planning and don’t have executive function issues, do this the day before. If you’re like the rest of us mortals, have a hot shower, or soak your fingers in warm water to soften your nails. Then trim them. And consider filing them afterward. Your butt will thank you.
Seriously consider some toys
You know what they never tell you about solo anal play? How much your body is going to protest at you contorting yourself around into a position where you can stuff your fingers into your anus. Now maybe you’re that flexible and you can get that anal orgasm with just your fingers, but the rest of us need toys. Even if the final stop of the pound town train is a real-life penis, toys are great. A good set of butt plugs can help you slowly open up to that penis – or bigger toy. A prostate massager frees up your hands to play with the rest of your body. And you can get all of that pleasure without getting a weird cramp in your spine.
Also, if you’re wanting to try pegging, you’ll need a good harness compatible dildo or strap on.
Read more: Beginner-Friendly Anal Toys by Matthew Lang.
Try different positions
If you’re having partnered sex, try some different positions. You’ll find the combination of partner bodies, penis/toy length and exactly where in your body your prostate or a-spot sits will change how various positions feel. And some will be better than others for tipping you over the edge for that anal orgasm.
So in no particular order here’s some of the best positions for anal orgasms that you should try. Hopefully one of them will work for you.
Missionary
This is a great position if your partner’s penis curves a little bit up. Most dildos also curve a bit up, but you can usually rotate them for any direction you like. An upward curve in missionary means they’ll be pushing into your prostate or a-spot more consistently. Which is great for that anal orgasm. As a bonus, you get to see each other’s faces and make out.
You’ll typically want to raise your butt up to a better height for penetration, so consider a less compressive pillow – maybe a latex one – or grab yourself a position pillow or wedge.
Doggy style
Doggy style – or any from behind position – is great for anal sex as it’s easier to line everything up. And unlike missionary you don’t strain as much keeping yourself in position for penetration. If your partner has a downward curving penis this could be great for you as well, but if not you could be trading off intensity of stimulation for comfort. Which one’s more important in helping you reach that anal orgasm is down to your preference.
Spooning
Yes, we have just gone through front, back, and side as recommended sex positions. Spooning works similarly to doggy style, but is great for slower, gentler anal sex. There’s very little strain, and you can go for a lot longer. For this, the receiving person should lie on their side with their upper leg pulled up towards their chest. This lets the penetrating partner have easier access to their booty to slip in and start moving.
Spooning is a position that can be more or less comfortable depending on your heights so if it doesn’t work for you, that’s okay. Maybe try
Cowgirl/Cowboy
AKA riding on top. The top lies on their back and the receiving partner straddles their hips with either knees or feet on either side of them. This is a fantastic beginner position as the person being penetrated gets to control the depth and speed of penetration. It’s also a position that’s great for riding suction cup dildo if you’re exploring solo.
However, like spooning, you may find this one just doesn’t work for you, and if that’s the case, go back to one of the others above.
Don’t forget the rest of you
You will be tempted to focus on your ass. And just on your ass. That’s normal when you’re chasing and anal orgasm, but don’t do it. Instead take time to do other things that feel good. Play with your nipples, use that Satisfyer Pro 2, or give yourself a handjob. If you’re with a parter, go in for some oral sex – giving or receiving.
This is all about turning yourself on and getting aroused and horny so you’re closer to orgasm. Any orgasm. And who knows, you might find you get that simultaneous clitoral and anal orgasm, or penile and anal orgasm.
Mixed play safety message
Quick sidebar: if you’re putting something into your butt – or your partner’s butt – please clean it before putting it somewhere else. Yes, it breaks up the fun, or the intimacy, but if you want to practice safe sex, clean up first to avoid infections and STIs.
What if you can’t achieve an anal orgasm?
Short answer: That’s fine. Try something else.
Everybody is different, and what may feel mind-blowingly amazing for one person can be totally ho-hum for others. Or even uncomfortable. If anal play doesn’t float your boat, move on! There’s so much to explore in the wild and wonderful world of pleasure.
And remember, not all sex needs to end in the big O. Sex and masturbation can be enjoyable even if it doesn’t result in climax. Have fun exploring what feels good, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your partner. You’ll find the experience much more enjoyable if you take away any expectations, and then if you do achieve orgasm, it’s a bonus!
Want more anal info?
Read our ultimate guide to anal play, or check out other articles about anal sex:
