We are in the depths of winter in Australia and New Zealand. Sometimes it’s dark before we can even get home at the end of the day. Maybe we’re eating stodgy food to warm us up from the inside out. The last thing you might feel like doing is getting nude and sexy. But I think it’s the perfect time to focus on the middle of the year sexual reset. Here’s how you can use this mid year point to refresh and enhance your sexual connection.
If you’re anything like me on January 1st you may have made a resolution to prioritise your sex life, try some new things, work on keeping sex top of mind. If you’re nodding right now, you may also be like me in the fact that you’ve reached the middle of the year and that saucy resolution has fallen to the wayside.
Never fear and no beating ourselves up about this. The good thing is if you’ve got a body and a willingness to start again then we can do a winter tune-up for your intimate life. Much like a car needs periodic maintenance to run smoothly, relationships and sexual connections benefit from regular attention and care. And a sexual reset isn’t just about physical intimacy; it encompasses emotional closeness, communication, and overall relationship satisfaction. Whether that’s with yourself or another person . The middle of the year is an ideal time to pause, reflect, and rejuvenate. It offers a natural checkpoint to evaluate your relationship’s health and make necessary adjustments.
Sexual reset fire starters
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You can do so many things to reset your sex life. Everyone’s different, so unless you get individualised, professional advice, you’ll find some ideas resonate more with you and that’s okay. Also, as with all homeplay, sometimes sexual exercises can feel a bit confronting, but if you approach them with an open heart you may find they work really well for you.
Radical honesty
Get real and honest with yourself. What do you desire for your sensual body? If you’re in a relationship, set aside time to talk with your partner. Discuss what’s working, what isn’t, and what both of you desire moving forward. Ensure this conversation is free of judgment and keep it fun, don’t get too serious. This is meant to be exciting!
But do take the prioritisation seriously once you’ve decided how you want to move forward. Write a list of things you want to try, schedule intimate dates to enjoy your sexual reset, and keep the communication open and flowing around your sex life.
Read more: Desires, Fears, and Boundaries with Morgan Penn
Get cozy
I get it, it’s cold, and you don’t love the idea of getting undressed. So let’s get creative. Blast a heater in the room you are planning to get jiggy in for an hour beforehand so it feels like you are having a hot euro summer night and can’t wait to rip your clothes off! You could also try:
Taking a hot shower
Whether it’s by yourself or with your partner, a hot shower can keep you warm as you connect with the body.
Give each other a sexy massage
Start with warm towels from the dryer, towel rack or fire and use that to cover the parts of the body you aren’t massaging. Hot tip: Don’t forget to warm the massage oil!
Movement
Do something like dancing together as foreplay. This increases body temperature and gets the blood flowing. I’m not talking about something wild like Zumba but a gentle sensual sway and grind could help get you in the mood.
Stay Close
Don’t forget the power of skin to skin contact for warmth. Use your bodies to generate and share heat. Snuggle under a duvet and use that as your warm cave to start the exploration of the body.
Spooning
Positions that involve full-body contact, like spooning, can help retain body heat.
Heated toys
Some sex toys are designed to be warmed up before use, adding an extra layer of comfort. Glass toys are great for this, but you can also find toys that heat up too.
Candles
This one’s a no brainer: fire! Something we psychologically connect directly with warmth. Whilst a candle may not do much to change our body temperature it can warm the ambience of a room and create a sense of overall coziness.
Staying warm during sex in colder months is about creating a comfortable, inviting environment and using body heat and external sources to unlock our inner fire.
Experiment and explore
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Routine can lead to boredom. Part of your sexual reset could be exploring new aspects of your sexual relationship. This could mean trying new activities, experimenting with different forms of intimacy, or even learning more about each other’s fantasies and desires. Be open to exploration and make it a shared adventure.
Focus on emotional intimacy
Sexual connection is deeply intertwined with emotional intimacy. Engage in activities that strengthen your emotional bond, such as deep conversations, shared hobbies, or simply spending quality time together without distractions.
Prioritise self-care
Individual well-being is crucial for a healthy sexual relationship. Encourage each other to prioritise self-care, whether through exercise, hobbies, relaxation techniques, or seeking therapy if needed. Feeling positive about your body and mental state has a positive effect on the relationship, whether you’re aiming for a sexual reset or not.
Seek professional advice
Sometimes, achieving your sexual reset requires more than a blog article. If you feel really stuck seeking guidance from a sex therapist or relationship counselor can provide valuable insights and strategies tailored to your unique situation. We aren’t meant to do all the hard stuff on our own, sometimes we need to call in the professionals!
Finding your sexual reset
Even if you didn’t make a sexual resolution at the start of the year, it’s never too late to refresh the sexual connection with yourself and or with a partner. Doing a midyear sexual reset might be just what the sexologist ordered. It can enhance your overall relationship satisfaction, increase intimacy, and reignite passion. Moreover, it fosters a deeper understanding and connection between partners. By intentionally focusing on communication, romance, exploration, emotional intimacy, self-care, and potentially professional guidance, you can reset and rejuvenate your connection.
Hopefully this mid year sexual reset warms things up between the sheets this winter so there are less ‘Netflix and chill’ and more ‘Bedroom and body heat’.
